Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
