i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize