carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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