my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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