i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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