I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize