I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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