somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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