You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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