Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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