Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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