you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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