I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
