so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize