It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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