yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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