You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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