Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
