i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
