I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
