If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
