I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
