I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
