So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
