No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
