dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
