I can tuck mytits in my pants
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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