Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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