I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She bit a glass in half.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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