So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
