How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize