i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
This beer is not sobering me up at all
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
