I molested 6 butterflies tonight
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
