My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my sisters under your porch take her home
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
