Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
