they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
