the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
