i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
