Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
