38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You peed on a flamingo?!?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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