Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
