If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You're like the curious george of whores
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
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