This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
