But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
