he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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