So drunk its hurt
I cannot find my penis.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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