She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
