wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
