just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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