therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
