The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
