My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize