sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
