he wants to bone in the snuggie
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
this just has baby written all over it
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize