Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize