it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
