pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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