can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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