Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
