The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize