I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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