Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
