She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
