He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
