i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize